OK, reality check, you set some goals or changes you wanted to make in January and now things have stalled, or you have given up completely. The committee inside your head is telling you that you are a failure, you never achieve what you want, and on and on. Here are some reasons why this happens to us.
You don’t make our goals a priority. It's easy to say you want to make a change but to actually do the work is much different. You have to decide what kind of priority you're going to give our goals. If you don’t, our intention will get lost with all our other daily activities.
You should identify one step you're going to take every day and put it in your calendar. You're more likely to go to the gym, apply for a job, or spend one hour researching our new business idea if you establish a time to do it.
Sometimes you underestimate how hard it will be. Tackling a new goal is easy but sticking to it is hard. Assuming it will be easy can allow us to not take a look at all of the work you need to put in to achieve our goals.
You shouldn’t confuse overconfidence with mental strength. Instead of telling yourself, it's going to easy, you should remind yourself you're going to need to work hard to achieve your goals, despite whatever skills and talents you already possess.
You view mistakes as failure. You need to accept that progress rarely comes in a straight line. Sometimes, people think one temporary setback means they've gone all the way back to square one, which causes them to give up.You should give yourself grace and realize that you are going to mess up sometimes. Instead of declaring yourself dismal failures, you need to use your energy to create a plan to get back on track.
This one is one of my worst. You sabotage yourself just before the finish line. The fear of success can be a real problem. And if you're not careful, you might sabotage yourself before you reach your goal. Perhaps you don't believe you're worthy of success or maybe, you are afraid someone is going to take it away from us.
The way to stop this is to think about past goals you've struggled to reach or those you've failed to attain. You should be honest with yourself about your feelings and be on the lookout for warning signs that you might be ready to quit.
Another reason that you don’t achieve our goals is you are setting our sights too high. If you're super excited about changing your life, you might be tempted to set the bar really high. If you take on too much too fast, you set yourself up for failure.
Focusing too much on a big goal can be overwhelming. As the old adage goes: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! Set short-term objectives and celebrate each milestone along the way.
One of the biggest reasons for failure is you give up before you see results. Impatience is the enemy of change. In today's digital world, most people struggle to wait for the time it takes to reach a goal.
Just because you can't see results, doesn't mean our efforts are wasted. You need to stick to your goals longer than you think before you experience lasting change.
Whether you slipped up, got overwhelmed, or simply lost steam on the way to habit change, here are some ways to maintain perspective and move forward:
1. Remember why you started.
If you feel like your momentum is fading, think back to your purpose. Why did you want to make a change in the first place? Connect to the core values underlying your goal. Maybe you’re trying to lose weight, it could be because you want to run and play with your kids. Perhaps you want to pursue a new career path so that you have more freedom in life. Reminding yourself of the reasons driving your goal will help you reignite motivation.
2. Jump back in, wherever you are.
Developing good habits takes persistence and perseverance. Inertia will halt your progress if you let it, so get right back into your routine as soon as possible. Give someone permission to hold you accountable to the schedule you set up for yourself, whether that’s getting to the gym once a week or writing for 15 minutes a day.
3. Make a plan for the future.
The better you plan for potential pitfalls, the easier you overcome them. Think about possible challenges that might arise which could derail you from your goal. Then create a plan to deal with those triggers. For example, if you know you'll be tempted to indulge when going out to dinner, look at the menu earlier in the day. Choose what you'll order in advance when you're in a positive frame of mind (and not ravenously hungry).
4. Just say ‘no’ to time sucks.
The average person has more than a dozen personal projects going on at once. Hello, overwhelm! Can you relate? Too many distractions eat away at your ability to focus. Eliminate obvious timewasters like TV and social media. Define specific times when you’ll check email, for example, to create boundaries. You want to avoid wasting precious attention on trivial, unimportant matters. Be mindful to also limit time with energy-draining, negative people.
5. Recommit in writing.
The physical act of putting pen to paper has a powerful effect on your ability to follow-through. People who write down their goals are 42% more likely to achieve their dreams than those who don’t. Visual reminders can also be motivating. I have a note on my computer with a smiley face that inspires me to stay positive even on the worst days.
6. Focus on progress, not perfection.
If you’re getting sidetracked, it could be because your goal is too big or too vague. When you lack clarity, it’s easy to make missteps. Design weekly or monthly mini-milestones to shoot for. Break down what might be a gigantic life change into a series of steps. Each day pick one essential task to accomplish that helps move you forward. Slow, consistent progress is much better than taking on too much and giving up quickly.
Similarly, think about the positive progress you’ve made instead of dwelling on how much you got sidetracked. Look back on how many days you’ve stuck to a new fitness routine. Don’t dwell on how many times you’ve skipped your workout. Celebrate how far you’ve come: What lessons have you learned? What are you most proud of? Balancing reflection with a forward-looking exercise like writing a letter to your future self is a perfect way to continue your growth.
If you do get distracted, don’t worry. See it as an opportunity to strengthen your resilience. You’re getting better at rolling with the unpredictability of life each and every day. And that is the most valuable confidence builder of all.
Remember that you are not the only one that has setbacks, WE ALL DO. It’s about set goals, celebrating the small accomplishments. Step by step you will achieve them.